"The first time I ever saw him play, Tre Cool was wearing a tutu and an old-womans swimming cap."

"We've made a lot of people feel good about the fact that they're lonely, loser geeks."

"Nothing beats a good riot."

"There are nice guys trying to be assholes and assholes trying to be nice guys. I am an asshole tying to be a nice guy."

"Never run in the rain with your socks on."

[Asked: If he's a romantic regarding a line in Church On Sunday] "What? Please! No... Man, I'm hard! I listen to Limp Bizkit man, gimme something to break!"

"Throw mud at each other... See how many stupid things you can do to each other all at one time."

"I thought it all up in my head. God, I know. Genius, right?"

"I want someone to rob a bank in the name of Green Day. I want them to make masks of our faces and rob a fucking bank."

"I'm new school with an old flavor in a new time in an old period of place."

"I kind of became everyone's weird uncle. I was drunk all the time, wearing a fucking leopard g-string."

"With the video for Boulevard of Broken Dreams we were going for something a bit like Ladykillers, you know? Pretty and demented at the same time...like me!"

"What do you mean we walked around dressed like girls? They were our own clothes, they just happened to be dresses..."

[Asked: What's one of the secrets to keeping the band together?] "Circle massage... we like to massage each other."

[On participating on Tony Hawk video game] "For somebody who doesn't know how to skateboard, I'm going to be ripping it up."

[2005 VMAs] "We met Mr. Scrappy, we saw the boys in Good Charlotte — we've seen a lot of gold teeth."

"My name is George W. Bush." [boos] "My name is asshole." [cheers]

"You know the Rolling Stones...Well, we're a little bit better than them. They were here in Toronto practicing. We were there. Keith Richards, who's at least 60, had the biggest joint I've ever seen. Of course, I smoked it!"

"How old are you?" Fan: "18." Have you ever been laid?" [fan is speechless] "Well, you're gonna get laid tonight!"

"If I'm into something I have to make sure it gets done. If I do drugs, I make sure that pile of fucking speed is done before the night is over."

"We have fun onstage. I'm not going to be this fucking melodramatic smashing pumpkins moron."

"[Our 'Waiting' video] was totally a failure. [MTV] doesn't show any videos anymore. If we had a booty video - if we had, like, McG, with girls shaking their ass in the video -- it would probably get played. Actually, I am just really bitter right now."

"Yeah fuck me! I wish all of you could fuck me."

"You want a drumstick? Like a ice cream cone or a chicken wing?"

"My mom's got a cute ass! Total MILF."

"Do you have a problem? I have a gun. I'll shoot you. No more problem."

"If you can actually remember a good prank, then it never happened."

"A guy walks up to me and asks 'What's Punk?'. So I kick over a garbage can and say 'That's punk!'. So he kicks over the garbage can and says 'That's Punk?', and I say 'No that's trendy!"

"I sound like an Englishman impersonating an American impersonating an Englishman."

"I'm not gonna say anything inspirational; I'm just gonna fucking swear a lot."

"There's nothing wrong with being a loser, it just depends on how good you are at it."

"We put the fun back in dysfunctional."

"Punk rock is dead...and I fucking killed it."

"School is practice for the future, and practice makes perfect, and nobodies perfect, so why practice?"

"You say it to my face, you might be pickin' yourself off the ground."

"When someone is in a car accident and they're driving at 100 mph, drunk, who's tape do you think he's listening to at that time? Think about it."

"Just about 99% of the population masturbates while the other 1%, lie about it."

"What? You can heckle me if you want, it's okay I won't understand!" (at a foreign concert)

"A lot of people, when they talk to me, I can't wait for them to shut up. Like, shut up. You're a moron. I have nothing to say, you know?"

"Well, you know, I look at myself in the morning and yes, yeah I-I am a God."